So now I have made it through the first seven weeks and have five more to go before I finish lecture phase. The last couple of weeks have been tough and I have felt the pressure rising. I am not feeling that great about Mexico any more and especially since my favorite dorm buddy, Myrriah, has decided to head off with the surfers to Indonesia and Australia after just a short time in Mexico, so she'll be on a different team altogether :-( There are a couple of people I would prefer not to be in a team with. I am praying I get put with a couple of the guys who pray in the Spirit and that I feel are great little brothers to me.... oh why does God want me to go to Mexico?
I have been so blessed by Sarah's friendship. I really don't know what I would do without her. She always knows exactly what to say and how to pray to comfort me. Last Tuesday, I felt like everything was falling apart and found myself bawling my eyes out almost all day. Then when I went to her house the next day, she said she could feel my heart was broken and she prayed for me and sang in tongues over me. God's presence overwhelmed me with joy as she did that and when I went to prayer with her to VLC, I just soaked up the anointing so much. Deb said she kept getting this word about being like a dry creek bed and God was saying to call out to Him and she felt that maybe it was for YWAM, but I actually feel it was for me. I need to retain fellowship with Spirit-filled Christians who pray in the Spirit and understand the power of confessing the Word of God. I just crave it so much.
13 May 2010
God's flowers to me
Today I found out that Terry didn't actually pick my name, but rather felt God wanted him to wash my feet anyway! So he told me this morning that I would get called up again! .... so I did. Luke got my name and bought me some beautiful flowers and gave me a note saying how much God loved me. Really sweet. He said that God also told him to buy Emily flowers too ... so when we got home, we took some piccies of us with the flowers. About five minutes later, he walked in with another bunch of flowers! ...too late cos we had already taken these piccies.
12 May 2010
Father heart of God
Well today I woke up feeling a little downcast, so I called some words of encouragement into my life. When I got to class, James told me I looked nice in what I was wearing, which was really sweet, especially cos I've been feeling so old around these younger ones, even though everyone thinks I look just as young as them all.
Then I get to class. We've been studying the father heart of God all week and yesterday we had to choose a name out of a container and ask God how He wanted to show His father heart to that person, a fellow classmate. Well I went home and asked some of the girls for their advice and they said that my young guy likes coffee and one suggested I buy him some cake. I thought they were great ideas and was going to do both and top it up with some nice encouraging words written on a piece of paper. Then I had a quick nap and when I woke up, I felt God say to take a piece of paper, write Ansen's name on it and stand up the front of the class and get everyone to say whatever they liked about him and for me to write down all their comments. Well the class was very enthusiastic and the page was rapidly covered in all sorts of very uplifting comments. I know that would have been really touching. I really liked the way out school leader Anders felt led to sit beside Ansen and ask him if he could be like an older brother to him and sit and listen to all the encouragement he received. So sweet :o) That really blessed me being used by God to bless someone else.
So then all of a sudden it was my turn and Terry, the Surfer's DTS leader, wrote my name on the board.... and he washed my feet!!! I was only just telling some of the guys over dinner last night how I would absolutely die of embarrassment if someone did that to me and then I find myself in the hot seat having it done to me! Ha ...and Terry kept telling me I was precious. I did feel embarrassed, but thankfully made it through. When I sat down, I could feel God's presence all around me. It was just so sweet. There was definitely a really sweet anointing on what he did. I knew that was from God.
Then in the afternoon after work duties, Andrew, a big tall American guy who is 26 told me he was just going to say I was 24 because he just could not accept my real age. That actually really touched me, boy I wish everyone had that attitude. Then I wouldn't feel so insecure about my age.
Then I get to class. We've been studying the father heart of God all week and yesterday we had to choose a name out of a container and ask God how He wanted to show His father heart to that person, a fellow classmate. Well I went home and asked some of the girls for their advice and they said that my young guy likes coffee and one suggested I buy him some cake. I thought they were great ideas and was going to do both and top it up with some nice encouraging words written on a piece of paper. Then I had a quick nap and when I woke up, I felt God say to take a piece of paper, write Ansen's name on it and stand up the front of the class and get everyone to say whatever they liked about him and for me to write down all their comments. Well the class was very enthusiastic and the page was rapidly covered in all sorts of very uplifting comments. I know that would have been really touching. I really liked the way out school leader Anders felt led to sit beside Ansen and ask him if he could be like an older brother to him and sit and listen to all the encouragement he received. So sweet :o) That really blessed me being used by God to bless someone else.
So then all of a sudden it was my turn and Terry, the Surfer's DTS leader, wrote my name on the board.... and he washed my feet!!! I was only just telling some of the guys over dinner last night how I would absolutely die of embarrassment if someone did that to me and then I find myself in the hot seat having it done to me! Ha ...and Terry kept telling me I was precious. I did feel embarrassed, but thankfully made it through. When I sat down, I could feel God's presence all around me. It was just so sweet. There was definitely a really sweet anointing on what he did. I knew that was from God.
Then in the afternoon after work duties, Andrew, a big tall American guy who is 26 told me he was just going to say I was 24 because he just could not accept my real age. That actually really touched me, boy I wish everyone had that attitude. Then I wouldn't feel so insecure about my age.
25 April 2010
The nerd party I missed
Because I escaped to mum's house, I missed this nerd party that the girls in my dorm put on for the base. I wasn't really keen on dressing up as a nerd anyway, so glad I missed it!!! They all look so cute. I stole these piccies off Facebook this morning :o)
Repentance and Forgiveness
We have just finished a very intense week at YWAM in which we studied the subject of repentance and forgiveness. It was a great topic that I think would be an asset to Bible College, so I sent the guys at college at update.
The week included a thorough study of sin as it is presented in the Bible and we began by looking at the story of the prodigal son. Our base leader gave some amazing testimonies from his own life as well as recalling some experiences that other people had dealt with and then presented us with a very clear overview of about 75 different types of sin, such as unforgiveness, pornography, sexual immorality, gossip, lying, stealing, breaking the law, etc…
Each student was encouraged during the week to spend time in prayer asking God if there was any area of sin they felt was relevant to them and which they needed to repent of publicly at the end of the week, and to write them on a piece of paper.
Then on Friday, the staff set up three chairs at the front of the room and students were given free choice to sit in the middle with one staff member on either side of them, and read out their list of anything they felt convicted of repenting for. I was amazed at how genuine everyone was. We were all brought to tears as we read out and repented for many things. I think the most surprising thing to me was hearing so many students repent of having sex or being sexually immoral with so many people, especially given how young they are!!! - each one named the people as well. I was dumbfounded. Emily, Joe, Adam, Carolyn, Brittany, Noel, Luke, Cody, Josie, even Katelyn had all given away their virginity. I am just so grateful I never gave that precious gift away despite the turmoil in my life before I found Jesus.
Although I previously hadn’t felt like participating, I felt the Lord prompt me to go up the front. To my surprise, I was emotional from the moment the confessions began and I found myself saying "Lord, I repent of unforgiveness towards the violent, abusive and cruel father who helped bring me into this world and all the guys who have abused my sister and led to the loss of so many innocent lives". I mumbled about how I had issues with trusting guys and letting them get close to me and how I look at the quality of my family's lives and cannot help but think about why they are like that and I also repented of gossip, slander and unwholesome talk relating to them. I think my confession brought a lot of shock to those who listened. I guess some people were probably wondering about my sex life, but I just didn't feel like I needed to deal with anything.
Apparently a few people cried through my confession. Anders said he saw a vision for me and said I have been in the cold dark winter and had had a taste of spring, but summer was yet to come - a time of great happiness and joy. Ansen wrote me a note that really touched me too saying God knows every tear I've cried. Daniel quoted that Scripture to me about having beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness.
The staff members then prayed over each person before they took their piece of paper to a huge wooden cross at the back of the room and nailed it to the cross. It was just an amazingly liberating time in which weightiness lifted off our shoulders and closer bonds were formed in our group. We actually spent the entire day doing this – from about 9am to 7.30pm with meal breaks included. What an amazing day. I felt pretty gutted afterwards, but have crashed at mum's house Friday and Saturday night to get away and recover, so am feeling heaps better. I am so blessed to have been able to escape.
The week included a thorough study of sin as it is presented in the Bible and we began by looking at the story of the prodigal son. Our base leader gave some amazing testimonies from his own life as well as recalling some experiences that other people had dealt with and then presented us with a very clear overview of about 75 different types of sin, such as unforgiveness, pornography, sexual immorality, gossip, lying, stealing, breaking the law, etc…Each student was encouraged during the week to spend time in prayer asking God if there was any area of sin they felt was relevant to them and which they needed to repent of publicly at the end of the week, and to write them on a piece of paper.
Then on Friday, the staff set up three chairs at the front of the room and students were given free choice to sit in the middle with one staff member on either side of them, and read out their list of anything they felt convicted of repenting for. I was amazed at how genuine everyone was. We were all brought to tears as we read out and repented for many things. I think the most surprising thing to me was hearing so many students repent of having sex or being sexually immoral with so many people, especially given how young they are!!! - each one named the people as well. I was dumbfounded. Emily, Joe, Adam, Carolyn, Brittany, Noel, Luke, Cody, Josie, even Katelyn had all given away their virginity. I am just so grateful I never gave that precious gift away despite the turmoil in my life before I found Jesus.
Although I previously hadn’t felt like participating, I felt the Lord prompt me to go up the front. To my surprise, I was emotional from the moment the confessions began and I found myself saying "Lord, I repent of unforgiveness towards the violent, abusive and cruel father who helped bring me into this world and all the guys who have abused my sister and led to the loss of so many innocent lives". I mumbled about how I had issues with trusting guys and letting them get close to me and how I look at the quality of my family's lives and cannot help but think about why they are like that and I also repented of gossip, slander and unwholesome talk relating to them. I think my confession brought a lot of shock to those who listened. I guess some people were probably wondering about my sex life, but I just didn't feel like I needed to deal with anything.
Apparently a few people cried through my confession. Anders said he saw a vision for me and said I have been in the cold dark winter and had had a taste of spring, but summer was yet to come - a time of great happiness and joy. Ansen wrote me a note that really touched me too saying God knows every tear I've cried. Daniel quoted that Scripture to me about having beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness.
The staff members then prayed over each person before they took their piece of paper to a huge wooden cross at the back of the room and nailed it to the cross. It was just an amazingly liberating time in which weightiness lifted off our shoulders and closer bonds were formed in our group. We actually spent the entire day doing this – from about 9am to 7.30pm with meal breaks included. What an amazing day. I felt pretty gutted afterwards, but have crashed at mum's house Friday and Saturday night to get away and recover, so am feeling heaps better. I am so blessed to have been able to escape.
14 April 2010
My little nephew one week old
Gosh I love this little guy with the unfortunate name of Lars. I went to see him on Sunday.
04 April 2010
New accomodation
This is me and my new bunk mate, Britney. She is 17 and from Gladstone, which is somewhere in QLD. I am guessing it's a country area cos she lives on a 10 acre property with a huge lot of relatives and friends! We get along surprisingly well - in fact I think she would be my first choice for bunk partners cos she is so obviously a sanguine and we have the same funny sense of humor and fun. She rolls around a lot though and makes it hard for me to sleep! Oh well, we got the best spots in the dorm (of 10 bunk beds available), tucked away in the corner of the room.
02 April 2010
Gladstone
Well thanks to the hailstorm, the accommodation we were meant to move into is damaged and we get to stay in a lovely modern air-conditioned funky little place in Gladstone Rd. I only have to share a room with 19 girls and the rest of the house has lotsa other people in other rooms, but there is a really nice kitchen, lounge and upstairs area to hangout in. I was doing a Google search and found this blog from a girl who used to be staying in the same place! :o)
I find it really amazing because the road I live on now is called Turnstone Rd and it is so appropriately named because moving into this place was like a big turning point for me - turning over a new stone..... and also God is like a stone for me - He is my foundations and He has really laid great foundations in my life through Bible College over the last two years. The road I am moving into is called Gladstone Rd and I just know that it will be symbolic of my life - I will be glad, I will rejoice.... because BIG gates are opening for me and I am moving into incredible blessings. I just know it deep down in my heart. God is so good. Here I was thinking it was such a crappy place and it turns out to be the total opposite! Oh, so typical of God.
I went and claimed my bed today - a lovely bottom bunk in the corner of the room. I am really happy with it. Glory to God.
Just looked up the meaning of the word "glad" in the dictionary and this is what it said:
1. feeling joy or pleasure; delighted; pleased: glad about the good news; glad that you are here.
I find it really amazing because the road I live on now is called Turnstone Rd and it is so appropriately named because moving into this place was like a big turning point for me - turning over a new stone..... and also God is like a stone for me - He is my foundations and He has really laid great foundations in my life through Bible College over the last two years. The road I am moving into is called Gladstone Rd and I just know that it will be symbolic of my life - I will be glad, I will rejoice.... because BIG gates are opening for me and I am moving into incredible blessings. I just know it deep down in my heart. God is so good. Here I was thinking it was such a crappy place and it turns out to be the total opposite! Oh, so typical of God.
I went and claimed my bed today - a lovely bottom bunk in the corner of the room. I am really happy with it. Glory to God.
Just looked up the meaning of the word "glad" in the dictionary and this is what it said:
1. feeling joy or pleasure; delighted; pleased: glad about the good news; glad that you are here.
2. accompanied by or causing joy or pleasure: a glad occasion; glad tidings.
3. characterized by or showing cheerfulness, joy, or pleasure, as looks or utterances.
4. very willing: I'll be glad to give him your message.
31 March 2010
Baby Nephew Born Today!
Angelina couldn't stop giggling over her little baby brother :-) He is completely healthy. His name is Lars Alexander.
29 March 2010
Rythmic Gymnastics
Today I took Angelina to the final rythmic gymnastics class for the term. It will probably be the last one I ever go to with her so I took some piccies. I really enjoyed meeting the other toddlers and mums:
- Monique (~2.5 yrs) and Sheryl;
- Jack (~2.5 yrs) and Bree;
- Lachlan (~3yrs) and Jo;
- Riley and Meesha (ages?) with Grandma;
- Addison (~2 yrs) and Nicole; and
- Chelsea (~2yrs) and Adele.
28 March 2010
Why?
What is it about me that results in me getting so frustrated or bored or disgusted with people that makes me want to remove them from my friends' list in Facebook? Why can't I just ignore them, leave them on there and get on with my life? I have removed so many people and regretted it afterwards because I've seen them and sometimes spoken to them and felt really bad about taking them off. I really wish I had never even gotten into Facebook in the first place. It is addictive and a total waste of time. I find myself writing stupid things and uploading pictures of people and places in my life that I really don't think people give a hoot about!
One last walk
Today I took mum's two dogs for a walk, then we drove up to Kongs and got some Nasi Lemuk and shrimp (yuck - I dunno how she eats that stuff!) and then I raked up the sticks and leaves on her verge that had dropped as a result of the hailstorm on Monday. I know mum's love language is acts of service, so she would have been touched. Anyway, I took some piccies of the dogs because I think this will be the last walk I give them for a long time.... bit sad.
27 March 2010
23 March 2010
So now we have 12 ppl in the team. I'm feeling a little uneasy now because everyone so far is much younger than me. I know I don't look any older, but i know I will feel awkward when they ask. I have to get over my age complex. Oh why would God send me to be among a team of such youngins, which is the only way to get into YWAM!?!?! The next oldest is only 23 :-( Oh Lord, please bring some older people into the team!
21 March 2010
DTS team at 21 March 2010
Well thanks to Anders our school leader, we have now got a Facebook group for the April DTS and there are nine of us in the group so far.... so I have had the opportunity to get an idea of what some of the people are like. So far everyone is younger than me. Anders is 29, Matt is 28, then we have a steep drop down to the others who are are 22, 21, 20, 20, 17 and 17! The three girls who want to come running with me are 22, 19 and 17. Yikes, I knew many would be young, but really didn't think they'd be that young. Oh Lord, I pray you will bring some older people into the group. Please Lord :o) I suppose, so long as I am fitter than at least some of the young ones, I will feel good :-)
16 March 2010
A season ending
Today I taught Ps David MS Powerpoint 2007 for the last time. Only two days ago I also had my last shift of working in the VLC bookshop.... and in less than three weeks, I end a 21-month season of babysitting my beautiful little niece and I say goodbye to mum and Julz. My heart just feels so broken and sad :o( I know this is what God wants me to do. Change is good. It's just so hard for me. No one else really understands the way I feel ... no sorry, correction, God knows!
Last night I had a dream that I was walking through a building and suddenly aware of the fact I was alone. Almost simultaneously, a man came against me with a knife and I found myself immediately saying with courage and boldness - "In the name of Jesus I bind you devil and I command you to get your filthy hands off me" and it was like the guy lost all his power and became harmless and I walked free. I am ready for Mexico, despite how dangerous people keep telling me it is.
Last night I had a dream that I was walking through a building and suddenly aware of the fact I was alone. Almost simultaneously, a man came against me with a knife and I found myself immediately saying with courage and boldness - "In the name of Jesus I bind you devil and I command you to get your filthy hands off me" and it was like the guy lost all his power and became harmless and I walked free. I am ready for Mexico, despite how dangerous people keep telling me it is.
12 March 2010
Oh noooo
Oh man, I would just die if this is the dorm I have to sleep in at YWAM. This is one of the potential options. BIG difference to the other one I saw. I've decided to postpone the payment of my fees until first week in case I change my mind or the people are dodgy, etc...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)