Moving on

Well the more I contemplate it, the more I feel like pursuing it - a DTS at Youth With A Mission (YWAM). I mean, I could not in my own mind possibly want to do it as an alternative to earning big bucks in a mining company or somewhere else in the marketplace. It must be from God.

Especially with the communal-style accomodation arrangement in bunk beds. I was talking to a girl on the phone today and she said there are 24 bunk beds (i.e. 48 beds) and three showers and four toilets in one building that the girls share. You get up and have to be at the base by 8.00 am where you do duties until 8.30 am. Then eat breaky, then go into intercession/praise & worship, then lectures, then lunch, then duties, then free time for 2.5hrs, then dinner and lectures or meetings. She said she only had Wed night off. Friday night you are expected to be at the meeting until 9.00 pm or 9.30 pm. Apparently, it is VERY full on!

Wendy's words Thursday night pierced my heart - that love is not being controlled by someone, having the absence of freedom to go o/s and feeling obligated to do stuff for them when other people my age are living life the way God intended it. She said I need to accept that I may never have mum's blessing, so it's not like doing things for her will achieve it. She said I am an adult and I need to have my freedom. There will always be situations in my family that require attention and that I could always assist with, but I need to cut the soul ties and move on. No matter how hard it is to do, I need to do it.

The YWAM course comprises three months of lectures based in Perth and then three months o/s, during which time I would not be able to see mum at all (obviously). There are many different nations I could potentially go to. There is a school starting April or one starting July, but I'm feeling like I should be in the April one. Well Julz seems to be unwilling to push Kylie's start date later and consequently, I would not have a job between when Julz has the baby to July when I would start at YWAM. Therefore, it seems logical to start April. It concerns me that Julz will be having her second child and Grunde really is truly hopeless when it comes to looking after babies.... but I have to move on. There will always be things like this.

Anyway, with the April school, it would mean that I would do my lecture phase April, May and June in Perth, then miss the rest of winter, possibly to go to Mexico with 100 other students and staff. That sounds much more appealing then starting July and doing lectures in July, August and September when it is freezing and wet.

I guess I have already jumped over a big milestone in moving out of mum's house last year. Now is time to jump over another big milestone. I figure I could always see mum weekends at least for the first three months... and three months o/s is really only 12 weeks, which is a small amount of time in the larger scheme of things.

Now I am seeling anything of value in my house that I can through eBay. I realise things really don't have a hold of me anymore. I've got some of the Versace products Julz gave me, two pairs of shoes and a handbag. I can't say I have ever really appreciated the demonic medusa head that is a trademark of Versace It is engraved on the base of the shoes and all inside the handbag. Yuckkkkk - and people pay a lot for these products!

New season

I sense I am on the verge of entering into a new season of my life.

One of my gfs from Bible College stayed at my house over the weekend and then moved into YWAM, where she will be working on staff in the kindy. The house she is staying in has eleven other girls. It is an absolutely beautiful renovated old building on Bulwer St in Highgate that is owned by YWAM. It has three bedrooms each with two bunk beds, two toilets, one shower and a large leafy backyard. I know it will be a huge adjustment for her because she has had her own room in a large rental property she shared with only one other person and she has accumulated a lot of stuff, which doesn't all fit into the room she has to share with three other girls. She is fortunate though that all the other girls in the house are very beautiful girls, like herself, who are conscious about hygiene and beauty! They all have their straighteners and hair products. They are all Caucasian - Americans, Irish and German, except one from India (who looks more like a mix anyway). They all seem so lovely and people I can see myself as befriending.

Anyway, the whole experience of helping Nat get settled has impacted me a lot. It was so exciting thinking she is moving into a house with girls who have laid down their careers, selfish ambitions and family& friends relationships to whole-heartedly serve Jesus. What a change from hanging out with people who have one or both feet in the world. Something in me wants to hang around them more and I feel a need to have a break from W/o Walls for a while and go to YWAM meetings instead. I don't have any friends at W/o Walls who are totally on fire for God.

I have this inkling inside that maybe God wants me to be part of YWAM somehow. It is like there is an electric current charging around the room in the praise and worship meetings - more so than VLC or W/o Walls. People are hungry and united in their focus - to preach the Gospel and make disciples in all nations. I like the fact that there are lower numbers of Africans and higher numbers of Caucasian nationalities. Last night at the meeting I went to with Nat, I just felt like I belonged. So many nations represented. The meeting was jam-packed because this week they are celebrating the 50-year anniversary of YWAM and 25-year anniversary of Perth YWAM. I think someone said about 700 people have swarmed in from all over the world because in some way they have been linked to YWAM.

Apparently a DTS is a 6-month committment. Far out. Long time. The first three months is based in Perth. Then the next three months you go out on missions trips. Why does that scare me so much! I guess I am not ready to let go yet. I am concerned for my dear mother. I want to know she will be ok.

Praise God for Wendy

I have recently connected with Wendy from W/o Walls who I can see as a great new mentor for me. She is absolutely awesome and came around for coffee a couple of weeks ago. I just love her and really feel a deep connection with her because she understands brokenness and dysfunctional families and what it is like to have people in your life who act and speak totally differently in the presence of other people. One minute angry, the next minute sweet and nice. I chatted to her for about three hours.

Her dad was an alcoholic who abused her mum. Their house was full of anger and violence and God has worked it all out - not the way she wanted, but she said she learnt to accept that she will never get the family she wants from them. She has only had peace in her life for the last five years. She is 45 now. She is married to a really stable nice guy, Craig, and they have three beautiful Godly children. I really admire her and just sent her a message to arrange another coffee sesh with her.

Kristin just left for Thailand yesterday. I am actually quite relieved to have a break from her. It annoys me that she has openly shared my life with others. Christine, her mentor, came and hugged me one day in church and wouldn't let go, choosing to start praying for me without asking for my permission. It was hot and I really didn't appreciate it. That was what made me realise how much Kristin has shared with her. I almost feel like Kristin has betrayed my confidence and I am starting to realise more and more that she says a lot of negative things about people, then to their face she is sweet as candy. I don't like that double-sided nature. I really need a good break from her. She'll be back just before her birthday on 7 Feb.

My Father loves me!

Yesterday I spent 8 hours praying in the Spirit. I tried to stop and watch a DVD, but I only got a little way into it before I felt this pressing need to turn it off and keep praying. I wish I knew what exactly I was praying for - I am guessing my future. Anyways, on the way to the Tent Crusade, I was feeling a little bit down and I started saying "God, is it really that much to ask that I have just one family member take an interest in my life and actually give some indication that they belive in me?".

After Kristin and I had made lots of balloon art for the kids, we went into praise and worship and some old lady came and whispered in my ear - "I heard the Lord say that you have a beautiful heart and He is well pleased with you and to stay close to Him". Today it suddenly hit me that God told that lady to say that to me because of what I had mumbled in the car on the way there! Having a sweet word of encouragement from God is better than anyone else saying nice things to me.

Today Angelina fell asleep and, as usual, I anointed her with oil, laid hands on her and prayed God would heal her. Then I asked God to reveal Himself to her and despite what the circumstances appear like now, that she would have a great future and know God and hear His voice and know His plans for her in a really deep way and know the height, the width, the depth and the breath of His love for her, that she would feel the warmth of His embrace and His presence. As I was praying that, I sensed the Holy Spirit was with me, like He was kneeling beside me and praying with me too. It was just so lovely.

The manifold presence of God is just so refreshing and comforting. If people just knew that God is real and can manifest Himself to them, they would put aside everything in their lives and pursue Him. He is so worth pursuing whole-heartedly.

The battle belongs to the Lord

About nine years ago, my mum survived the hardest ordeal and after learning how to walk and talk again, found herself singing this song in the middle of the night. Last night, God reminded her that her calling is to be a warrior for Christ and fight in the spirit realm. She remembered this song again. Breakthrough is coming to my family!

The Battle Belongs To The Lord

In heavenly armor we'll enter the land,
The battle belongs to the Lord.
No weapon that's fashoned against us will stand,
The battle belongs to the Lord.

And we sing glory, honor, power and strength to the Lord,We sing glory, honor, power and strength to the Lord.

When the power of darkness comes in like a flood,
The battle belongs to the Lord.
He'll raise up a standard, the power of His blood,
The battle belongs to the Lord.

When Your enemy presses in hard, do not fear,
The battle belongs to the Lord.
Take courage, my friend, your redemption is near,
The battle belongs to the Lord.

My beautiful niece :-)

*** HAPPY NEW YEAR! ***

Went to a party last night - just a small gathering of mainly church people, which was lovely. It was meant to be a pool party starting from 4pm. However, it was too cold to swim and I arrived at 4.30pm, while the next person only came at 6.30pm! It didn't bother me though. Kylie and her sister, Jenny, are so easy-going and accommodating. I still can't over how different her sister is to her. Kylie said she is the tomboy in her family, whereas her sister is the pretty, feminine one. She is not saved yet and works as a steward for lots of different functions with very wealthy businessmen and famous people, predominantly from Thailand and other Asian countries. I just loved talking talking to her. She is only 22 and obvsiously a sanguine. Talks non-stop and is full of fun and bubbliness.

Anyways, here are the piccies from last night, as well as a couple of Angelina that I took earlier in the week that I had forgotten about.