Then i went to a prophetic class on Monday. What was amazing is that Rod and Kerrie had spent the entire day praying for our evening class. God told them every person who was coming and gave words to them to give to us - well everyone received one except three people.... still, 50 prophetic words and being advised about who would be attending, was pretty amazing!!! God told them that i was entering into a new season of preparation and that God was going to teach me to hear His voice. I knew that already. One thing they did say though is it would be a time of refinement. When gold and silver are refined, they go through intense heat - that hurts. I am not looking forward to the refining process. Anyway, for some reason, i felt really alone on Monday night, despite being surrounded by people. Funny how you can feel like that sometimes. I guess cos they were all so much older than me and people i don't know well.
Then Tuesday, i carried the same bad attitude towards work. It's just that our project is finshed now and all there is to do is tidying up, things like printing and filing and cleaning my office. It's hardly mentally stimulating stuff.... so when i got asked to do more church stuff, i did it... using up all my "work" time for "non-work" relating stuff. I must admit, i did feel a bit guilty, especially seeing i claim to have high work ethics in my CV! Then Tuesday night, i went to the Without Walls prayer meeting. I sang in tongues loudly and for ages. Loved it. I had a bit of fellowship time, then left.
Wednesday morning i chucked a sicky, cos i figured i still had a bad attitude towards work and it was better i redirected my negative energy to doing more constructive stuff. I ended up going to a healing meeting with church. I spent the two hours just bawling my eyes out as little flashbacks from my childhood seemed to enter my mind. I remembered the graduations i had where i was the only kid without parents to attend. I remembered Saturday morning netball where the other kids parents and siblings came to cheer them on. I had no one. I remembered milestone birthdays that came and went without any celebration.... all because mum was always too busy and dad left when i was very young. My heart was just so broken. A lady prayed for me and said she sensed i felt very alone, despite being in big crowds and surrounded by people.... so i told her the flashbacks i had had and she said that was why..... i obviously was having a bit of inner healing that morning. Then i skipped home group on Wednesday night cos i felt exhausted from pouring out my soul that morning and emptying my eyes of all those tears. The guys in home group just don't understand. They all come from great families.
Then Thursday i went to work, but hardly worked. I was feeling really fed up and didn't want to be there. I think i did about half an hour worth of work. Some of my time was spent writing a resignation letter, which i emailed to my substantive employer. Boy that was a big decision letting go of my finanicial security in order to trust God to show me His will for my life!!! I had an early night Thursday and didn't go to the Women's meeting i said i'd go to.
Then Friday, would you believe i chucked another sicky!!! Well, the thing is, when i leave this job and my employment with the Government, i will lose over $10,000 worth of sick leave that has accumulated over the 7+ years i've been in government, so i didn't feel bad about taking the day off ;-) haha Then Friday night i went to Wendy's house to discuss the Tent Crusade and my role. Only Dan, Elisha and i rocked up. Kai-seen made us some delicious fish ball, snow pea and noodle soup, which was awesome. Then we got totally loaded with stuff to do - basically all the duties divided by three and handballed to us. I couldn't wait to escape .... i felt way too burdened with duties for the tent crusade. So i followed Dan to a prayer meeting, that only started at 10.30 pm!
Friday night passed and we were still at the prayer meeting. I was so grateful i went though because there were the most amazing little prayer warriors in that meeting. A young guy, Dave Hack, played his guitar and sung us beautiful church songs as we just lay there and soaked in the annointing of the Holy Spirit. Then there was Steven and Joanne - two Eurasian siblings with pastoral parents, then Clare Wagner, Phil Scrim, Dan and I. I was in awe of how fired up these guys were in prayer. Their hearts were so hungry and thirsty for more of the living God. I left close to 2am feeling inspired and deeply at peace. Being in their company just drowned out my bad attitude and sorrows from the earlier days.
Then Saturday, i dragged myself out of bed to go to Clayton's 30th birthday. There i made friends with Daniel and Louise. Daniel is a woody, just like Clay, while Louise is a nursing student. We clicked well and i told them about my poo-swinging adventure with Marshall and how i was gonna eat lunch with the Chief Justice and all sorts of garbage. I can really talk non-stop sometimes ;-) I also chatted with Michael, an exercise physiologist, and Dan, who was at the prayer the night before. I half chatted to Relle, Ali and Cate later as well, not much though.
The piccies are of Dave & Kristian, then Relle & Cate, then Mike, Dan, Clayton and his sister.
Then i went to a 25+ social event with the guys from Victory Life Church. I went in knowing no one and came out knowing heaps. It was absolutely awesome. I met Cameron (a lawyer), his beautiful gf Sedi (HR person in an engineering firm), Bronwyn (Office Manager for Cameron), Rochelle & Jane (two model-like entertainers who work on luxury cruises singing and dancing), Marika (a pastor and daughter of Margaret Court), Janice (a soon-to-be Bible college student), Wayne (wharf worker), Craig, Simone (works at Centrelink), Bellara (engineer), Allia (a muslim lawyer), Sharn (an engineer), ...can't remember any more names, though that is pretty amazing i remember so many!!! I left pretty early with an outflux of people. I think it was around 10pm.
Then today i dragged my tired self out of bed and went to Without Walls to help with the kids program at 10am. There were about 20 kids aged between 6 and 12 years old. Pretty cute. I was impressed with how wel behaved and generous the kids were. Big difference between kids from saved and unsaved families. These were all from good Godly families and knew their bibles well. After the service i gutsed some lunch before sitting on the grass and teaching a bunch of kids how to make balloon animals. I was among the last to leave the church at close to 3pm! I was so tired and my fingers were hell sore after tying and twisting so many balloons! I got home, fell asleep until about 6 pm, and missed the 6pm Victory Life Church service i was intending to go to. Agggghhh, what a week.
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