The turbulence in my job situation has finally drawn to a close, thank God!
Scenario 1
The week before last, I found out that I was short-listed for a permanent job. The job is a promotional opportunity, which would raise my salary a huge amount and give me long-term financial security and stability. It’s a job I know I can do and felt somewhat passionate about applying for because the work involves improving the lives of people with disabilities and allocating funding grants to lots of little not-for-profit organisations that do a great job.
However, in the week leading up to the interview, I got horribly sick with the stress of preparing for an interview and with the worry and anxiety that comes from knowing that if I missed out on this permanent job, I had no other options that could present me with a job by September, which is when I have a meeting with my former employer to discuss my work situation. My former employer has put me through hell with unfair treatment, after I scored a permanent job with them years ago, which they abolished and then refused to abide by policies and find me a good alternative. They have made my life very difficult over the last six months, in particular, being on my back about finding a permanent base elsewhere. Not the easiest thing to do when you’re in a very high pressure job, working with high-profile executives every day!
Anyway, so I fought sickness all last week, had two days off in which I just lay in bed and felt really sorry for myself. I lost my voice, but fought back to regain it, just in time for my interview on Friday! When I got there, I sat in the foyer for a while. There I was confronted with massive colour photographs adorning the walls – but unfortunately, they were not pleasant. Rather, they were off people in wheelchairs, blind people, deformed people, etc… I had just been reading a book on prayer and fasting in which people with similar conditions had been miraculously healed, but seeing these people caught in a photograph in time, made me feel really ill. Photographing people with obvious problems, blowing them up to 7 foot images and putting them on the walls, doesn’t arouse hope in me... in fact, it does quite the opposite.
Then a lady came to collect me – she seemed somewhat cheerless and didn’t make conversation with me. She took me to a little room to read the questions for half an hour in advance. While I was in there, I could hear someone moaning outside the door. It was someone who obviously had a mental illness or some condition that compromised their heath. It wasn’t a nice sound.
Then came the interview. Strangely, none of the panel members offered to shake my hand, so I walked around and volunteered my hand. In response, I got completely limp handshakes with no energy. It didn’t make me feel any better. While the interview questions were really easy and I had thorough answers for all of them, the panel members hardly smiled or showed emotion. I almost felt like they were like zombies or robots in autopilot mode, just giving me the occasional nod. How odd. The chairman hinted that I had the job and said he’d confirm the decision in writing in three weeks time. I got back to the office and later found out that both my referees had been contacted with the impression that I would be offered the job. There is no way I will accept it, despite the huge increase in pay, the permanency and financial security. I don’t want to be like those people. They appeared to have no hope. I have never been to such a miserable interview!
Scenario 2
When I got back to the office, I was feeling really disappointed, wondering what on earth I would do. Later in the afternoon, our deputy commissioner dropped in and asked if we could “talk”. Strangely, she closed the door. I was thinking “whatever”. Things really couldn’t get much worse. She hadn’t realised I had been in an interview that morning. Anyway, she raised the issue of the communications job that I blogged about earlier. She told me that the second round of advertising had not attracted the person she wanted and so she had ceased the recruitment process and prepared a letter seeking a review of the position in order for it to be reclassified. She told me she really believed in me, saw my potential and just felt inside that the job would be perfect for me. She asked me if I could re-consider taking it. This time, instead of a recruitment process, she would organise for my permanency from my previous job, to just be transferred directly into it with no fuss.
Dreams
Interestingly, a couple of weeks ago, I had two dreams, which I felt were from God. In the first, I was in a train that slowed to a halt and then dissolved. I was sitting on the tracks wondering what to do, when all of a sudden, a huge train came from the opposite direction, really fast up to where I was. It was on a different track about a metre from me, so I was in no danger. I was just feeling amazed at the speed at which it was coming and how quickly it came into my presence. It was a beautiful old fashioned train with smoke blowing out the front.
The second dream was less pleasant. I was on a boat filled with people and standing up the front with some guy. The boat was moving extremely fast. As we both looked over the front, we could see loads of crocodiles in the water. Within a few seconds, we had reached a caged wall, made of what looked like cyclone fencing. I started to climb the fence. As I looked over my shoulder, I could see some guy in the water and there were crocodiles all around him. As I looked back, I realized I was not clothed – I felt exposed and uneasy.
Interpretation
I have been reading some Christian books on interpreting dreams. The books say that trains and boats are symbolic of corporate ministries and crocodiles are symbolic of religious spirits. I see my work as being like a corporate ministry and so I believe these dreams were symbolic of two corporate ministries. The first was an exciting, colourful ministry. The second was dark and dangerous. I feel like they symbolize these two potential jobs that I could choose from. I guess a lot of these little not-for-profit organisations have been set up with Godly principles, but they are not always administered by people with the right hearts. That's where i see potential for "religious" spirits i guess.... people who just do things routinely, not with the love or truth of God intwined in them.
So, when the time comes, I will be boarding the train, not the boat, thanks to my Director, our Mighty God.
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